General Stanley McChrystal, commander of US and NATO forces in Afghanistan, said of the above slide, “When we understand this slide, we’ll have won the war.” Marine Corps General James Mattis claims that “PowerPoint makes us stupid.” Something evil is afoot here that poses the greatest danger our nation has ever faced. I am sure al-Qaeda and Taliban operatives have infiltrated our military and is feeding our fighting men and women countless PowerPoint slides for the purpose of causing the inhuman death by PowerPoint. You think the Iranians are trying to build nuclear weapons? Think again, the nuclear weapons thing is a ruse to detract from their real production of weapons of mass destruction, PowerPoint slides.
Imagine where our country would be if Washington had to endure a PowerPoint presentation by Alexander Hamilton before he crossed the Delaware to surprise the British at Trenton? Drinking tea, eating sheppard's pie, and arguing about the Boston-New York cricket rivalry. General George Patton would have slapped his staff silly and shot both the projector and laptop with his ivory handled pistols if he was shown a PowerPoint presentation before the Battle of the Bulge. Our old Soviet Russian enemies are probably slapping themselves silly for wasting all that money spent building weapons which caused their economy to collapse. PowerPoints would have been much cheaper. Would Theodore Roosevelt have charged up San Juan Hill with the Rough Riders and Buffalo Soldiers if he had to watch a PowerPoint presentation first? Well, yes because TR was too hyper-active to set through a PowerPoint briefing.
We now need someone who can save our brave fighting men and women from that cruel, inhuman form of torture known as “Death by PowerPoint.” That one man who can save our nation is Chris Craft. Chris has traveled across our great nation extolling the virtues of simpler presentations. He believes carefully chosen pictures and phrases are much better at communicating an idea better than placing every word on a slide. This less-is-more approach is just what we need to save our nation. Chris, if you are reading this, you need to catch the first thing smoking to Afghanistan to root out the evil that threatens to turn our brave fighting forces into zombies who will do our enemies’ bidding. Do this and you will return to take your place in the Pantheon of Great American Heroes.
All kidding aside, I have seen PowerPoint slides, Smart Notebook pages, ActivInspire flipchart pages, and Keynote slides in classrooms almost as complicated as the one shown above. If General Mattis believes PowerPoint is making our fighting men and women “stupid” imagine what it is doing to our students? Students who are active and engaged as students are necessary for our national survival as they compete with students from other countries in the future. Teachers, check your presentations and simplify them. Then simplify them some more.
Chris, your country needs you now more than ever!